His tory My story

May 14, 2013

It is of great comfort to know that God is in control of “History”. The word history was brought to us around 1350-1400, meaning to see or to know. We will only understand current events as we place them into the bigger picture of what God is doing in “His-Story”. God is  all knowing and all seeing. He sees past, present and future. His desire is that restoration of relationship with mankind that He intended when He created man and woman. God wants relationship not seperation. His Story is about that journey. Why oh why do we want to go alone and have nothing to do with God? Why for so many of us is it about “Mystory”. Within a couple of generations, we will be forgotten.

God has so much for us in this life as well as the time when we leave this envoiroment and He wants you and I to be a part of His epic Story, its a love story! (yuk I hear some of you say! but actually you and I were designed to be in relationship)

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We have footprints here….

January 30, 2013

Many people have found great comfort in the “Foot Prints in the Sand”  prayer, poem, lyrics. The authorship is debated but what it highlights for me is that we have predecessors. Now I know that is not at all the intent of the  author! Isnt it good to know others have gone before in all walks of life. The fact the the book of Job in the scriptures is as far as we know the first recorded writings of God, even though man has put it in the middle of the Bible! God wanted us to know that suffering is a part of life and how to walk the road.

I believe the wise person will take note of others whose footprints go before us and learn from them, both the good and the bad, the failures and successes. We don’t have to walk alone. We live in a very privilege age where knowledge is readily available to us concerning all areas of life. There is a stark difference between the person who has there own footprints and those who have studied at a distance. Whilst the former may not be eloquent in communication, they have tacit knowledge; that whilst their experience and interpretation may be  quite different to ours, they may have just one or two insights that can be so beneficial to us as we create our own footprints.

There is nothing new under the sun. If you are thinking or experiencing it, you can guarantee so are others. So dont walk alone!


Break-out or break-in

July 23, 2012

How many of us want to break-out? We are caught in a cycle of behaviour, an unwanted circumstance or may be even an un-healthy relationship, but try as we might we cannot break-out of it. We have tried endless times, had success for a while and then find ourselves back there again. Or we are locked in a paradigm that wont allow us to view a wider vista of life.

Mark Stibbe, the previous vicar of St Andrews, Chorleywood said “it’s a revelation our children need”.  Eric Mataxas in his outstanding work on Bonhoeffer wrote “Thus the philosopher-and the theologian who operates on a philosopher’s assumptions-chases his own tail and gazes at his own navel. He cannot break out of that cycle, but God, via revelation can break in”

The amazing part about God’s revelation is that so often it’s a simple change in perspective not a change in physical circumstances. Jesus claimed to be “The Way” “The Truth” “The Light”. What I want more than anything is for God to reveal Himself to me. To do that I invite Him to break-in to my mind-set, my activity, my life……and then I wonder, do I really want that. He did that when He took my son, the pain for the gain is great. I want Him to break-in, I want to experience His love, grace, mercy, glory in tangible ways. I want the power of that break-in to be so strong that I no longer need to break out because I recognize “if the son sets you free, you are free indeed”. That’s my passion for those attending Mysterious? on Sept 8th.

The question is what price am I willing to pay for Him to break-in?


Mike, this is an awesome day!

February 5, 2012

Kathy was cleaning Mike’s room and found a teddy in his wardrobe whilst hanging up the many clothes. Thinking he had brought it as a Christmas present for one of his sisters she mentioned her find to him. He said it wasn’t for them and now to her embarrassment she thought it may have been for her! Mike worked in the kitchen at McDonald’s where he befriended Kim. She once shared she was having difficulties with her boy friend. Mike seeing over the weeks how sad she was brought the teddy for her. One evening he stuffed it in his back pack and announced he was meeting Kim at KFC. When Kathy tried to understand his actions he simply said ‘I just want to make her happy”. Kim to him was a girl, just like his sisters. He was thrilled when she agreed to come along to the youth mid week Bible study. Mike knew Kim could find peace in a relationship with God.

As the paramedics were in with Mike, I stood outside his bedroom knowing he had died for some hours, I stamped on the ground, crying out to God in pain and said, “If something eternal does not come from this then I will be very angry, I want to see salvation come as a result”.

In the weeks that followed I heard that Kim had come to the burial service. I wrote some comments about Mike and Kim on my blog and to my surprise Kim contacted me to tell me she was the girl from McDonald Mike had befriended. Until that point I did not know her name. Well to cut a long story short, Kim continued on the path of discovery of peace with God.  Kim has become a friend of the family and has told us that Mike would but Kutless CD’s under her bag in the staff locker room. Mike was too shy to give it to her personally.

Today Kim  is getting baptised at Mike’s church, a demonstration of spiritual death and resurrection. John 12:24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

God has been gracious and is showing me this answer to my prayer that horrible morning. I continue to pray for “many seeds”.

I forgot to visit Mike’s grave on his 21st B’day but I have this strong desire to visit him with the girls today and just thank God for his simple life and how God can use us when we are obedient.

Mike, this is an awesome day!


I did not think to visit you on your birthday!

January 21, 2012

Our behaviour demonstrates values, emotions, goals, our view on life…..I am very surprised, not saddened, that I did not think to visit Mike at the grave yard two days ago on his 21st birthday. What does that say about where I am at with the loss of my buddy?

I have read extensively over the past 2 1/2 years on loss, grief and shattered dreams. Some writing I found helpful and could relate and other I either disagreed or did not experience the same emotions or perspective of the writer. Two people I particular warm to is Bob Sorge and Larry Crab. Both these men have had life changing dramatic events that has taken the faith they had, the so called “happiness” they experienced, smashed the dreams and aspirations they pursued and caused them to sit in the chair like me and struggle to find a compass that is not spinning.

BUT like me, they have experienced something we never knew we could have, we did not know what we did not know. God has taken our “happiness” and used sadness and loss to give us “Joy”. Now this is the mystery and I struggle to explain myself. As I read Bob Sorge’s writings, I sat there saying “Yes, Yes, Yes, that is exactly it, I know precisely what you are saying”. Why did I not think to visit Mike? I woke that morning, sat in Mike’s room and enjoyed reading about the life of Moses and the Children of Israel and then headed into the park to walk , think and  listening to a song by Darlene Zschech “Love You So Much” There are times when the emotional and spiritual connect in such a way that I experience a joy what defies the logic of my circumstances. As I sung along to this song, expressing the words as a prayer of heart desire and thankfulness to God, that Mike was celebrating his 21st in the presence of God. I enjoyed surmising and having some lateral thinking that he was as proficient as anyone could be at playing the guitar and with his friends was so enjoying the freedom that comes from seeing the Father’s face that not only was he doing the most amazing praise jamming possible with his guitar but he was also making uninhibited dancing with his mates who were laughing at his extravagant joy! Mean while, back on earth in the park, I watched the sun’s rays shoot up from behind a cloud and with much joy worshipping God in the full knowledge that like Mike, one day I too will no longer see dimly, no longer will His face be behind the cloud, but I will see Him face to face, I will know Him in full as I am known in full. Through the pain and the loss, I have discovered a treasure. God has revealed Himself to me in a way I had not previously experienced. Today I do not walk on cloud 9, I experience all the normal human emotions, I am not the same person I was 2 1/2 years ago, the dreams and aspirations I had have been replaced, I have experienced God in a way that will change the way I live for the rest of my days on earth. Mike’s birthday was more about God than it was about Mike. As Kathy said, “It was an ordinary day”, I would agree on the physical, but on the spiritual, I cherish my little secret!


Happy 21st Birthday Mike – buy Mike a small present through The Michael Knight Trust

January 19, 2012

M

We have more opportunities in 2012 to support young people developing their musical worship skills and gifting. Requests are coming from individuals in the UK, India and a ministry in Turkey where a summer worship camp is held for young people who desire to learn how to lead worship in their gatherings. Would you consider making a small contribution today.

Please visit The Michael Knight Trust Site


God’s perspective is crucial

August 9, 2011

August 1st 2011....two years on.

 
My perspective on life, and death, is limited. Two years on from August 1st 2009 I see and understand more than I did in the confusion, turmoil and disorientation of the initial aftermath. I still don’t have clear precise answers but I have “more light” than I did two years ago.
 
I view life through my lenses, from my perspective, but as I have walked with God this path, as I have read His words in the scriptures, I have seen, although through scratched lenses, His perspective. At first it was hard to focus through the tears and pain but as time has passed, emotion settled, the picture He paints becomes clearer.
 
God has walked Kathy, Akila, Laura and I through the shock and grief of Mike’s passing. He has revealed to us new truth’s about Himself, ourselves and His eternal purposes for Mike. His perspective is vital. If I did not believe that, then I too would wear black to the funeral, I too would see Mike’s death as such a tragic event.
 
So as I take the principle to see God’s perspective, I ask what, not why God. I look at th e longer term Kingdom unfolding of events. My best mates business going into administration does not make sense, when he his brother and wife have given so much money away to brilliant causes and individuals. Yes there is the reality of the business environment, but would not God want them to keep pouring funds into so many charities! His perspective and time will reveal the bigger picture, although we may have to wait until heaven to see it!  Both the apparent good and bad are all used to bring out His purposes.

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