When the “storm of our lives” has passed and I don’t just mean your average storm, I mean the one that changes landscape, the one that flattens and wipes out, we sit there dazed for a long time.
Over the past few years I have made several comments as I have reflected;
- “As I looked at Mike’s dead body I realised that the primary had become secondary and the secondary primary”
- “In the week leading up to Mike’s passing we decorated the lounge. I stripped it bear. As we started to bring items back into the room, we paused and asked do we actually still want this?”
As the ability to breathe and function returned, I did two “Re’s”, Re-prioritized and Re-arranged my life.
Essentially the 3 aspects of our lives are generally given equal time. The previous 7 years, up until August the 1st 2009, mine was unbalanced and looked more like this.Emotionally energy looked more like this!
5 ½ years on, I continue to hold onto those priorities. I recognised that whist so much of what I was doing was “good”, there was better. I realised that when everyone goes home, even mum and brothers, its just me, Kathy and the girls. So why do I give so much time and energy in an unbalanced way to “other” good things?
I realised that even my relationship with God was not healthy. I recognised “I worked for God but not with God!” (A danger for many if full time “God work”).
So today, I am at peace to say “no to good things” because “I want better things”. I fight to keep the main thing the main thing, not to let primary become secondary. I reflect continually whether I am giving space in my mind to topics that create strong emotion and occupy my thoughts and conversation or just refuse to engage with the topic because I want other things to rent that space. How I spend my time, money and capabilities are purposeful. I am at peace to say “no” because I want to say “yes” to something else, even when I don’t know what that yes is yet. I leave space for the “yes”