Do I want to be healed! What a funny question, of course I do. I have shared about my lump with a few people and their reaction is to say they are praying and they are praying for healing. I soooo appreciate that. BUT
Actually if I am honest, what I would appreciate more is prayer to hold fast to Him. I am not convinced about healing……and now we open up a can of worms and controversy! Do I believe in healing? YES. Can God heal? YES. Does God heal……..not all the time, in fact most of the time He does not. Why do I read stories of people who prayed for a parking spot and God seems to miraculously provide one but when I read of people who need healing, it does not come? I also read of some people who are healed. Many times when it is a terminal illness, they have a slow down in the process or healing for a few years. There is the one side who pray with such zeal and passion for healing, using lots of loud prayer, lots of positive thoughts and quoting lots of scripture. On the other there are those who don’t pray at all. I think I am in the middle! Why is physical healing so important to us? Why do we not put the same wieght on emotional healing or in fact, spiritual healing. The bottom line is we are in a process and in one sense from the day we are born we are dying. Mike has total healing.
In my own heart, what I am struggling with is my passion and walk with God. What I want more than healing is that I would “walk with God, obey what he requires of me and to hold fast to Him whilst I am on planet earth”. I want to trust Him with areas that I cannot control but think my involvement is important. God is God and I am not.
The bizarre part of all this is that I have at this stage no knowledge of what this lump is but its that lack of knowledge that is the killer!