When I think of the word enthusiasm and what behaviour is manifested by an enthusiastic person, I would note chatting, action, face bright and a “let’s go” attitude, all rather extrovert.
I had promised Kathy that on Saturday I would get down the Christmas items from the loft. It’s normally a bit of a chore and so two people make the task a lot easier. But she had to go to the shops and so I did the job by myself. It would have been a job I would do with Mike. In the process I saw a number of Christmas decorations Mike had brought as presents for Kathy. The joy of having her birthday in December! As my mind started to reflect on the 23 years of Christmas with the kids, I started to smile at Mike’s quiet enthusiasm. Mike was such a quiet boy and unlike his sisters, his enthusiasm was hidden by his quiet nature. Mike so enjoyed Christmas and would be the first to have a tree set up in his room and decorated.
I think at how often I miss read a person. They too can be quietly enthusiastic, even though they may not say a word. They may be simply enjoying the moment and watching others, savouring their thoughts. I told Mike on occasion that its good to communicate with your voice your appreciation, others are not mind readers! We are complex individuals!
I haven’t cried over Mike for a while but by the end of the evening I had a jolly good cry as I so miss my boy. Life goes on and new norms have developed, grieving and loss have been processed in many ways, but occasionally it just hits. Love you buddy.