One year ago when we walked through the door of the house after being away for a week, it was so depressing. The house was quiet, people had gone, the flowers were dead, Mike’s room had to be packed up and on and on. Our minds were chaotic with multiple thoughts, simple became complex, energy was gone.
Within minutes of returning from Australia Kathy and I sit in Mike’s room or the “pool room” as we fondly call it and drink tea. Kathy returns Mike’s teddy dog, RoRo to his shelf after getting many photos of him in Australia. We love Mike’s room and I sit in my favorite chair. Our minds are not yearning for answers, we have finished all that part of the processing. Our hearts are at peace. We put on his Ipod and listen to familiar music.
Today as I wake at 05:30, the stars are profound. What a joy to wake and appreciate what we have not what we lost. Kathy and I went to see Mike and tell him we are home! We were surprised that the plot next to him as been filled whilst we were away. Kath and I would often pray for the people who would be buried either side of Mike, knowing that they were alive at that time. We wonder who the person is? How old? I still find great comfort in visiting Mike even though I know his spirit is in Heaven and he cannot hear a thing I say!
Whilst we are sad to leave family and friends in Australia, already miss the warmth of the sun, love the coast line walks and cycles, we are also happy to return to family and friends here. Laura walked into her room to find it decorated by her friends as a welcome home. My friend and work mate Colin kindly picked us up at the airport. Jamie, who had been house and cat sitting, put basic foods in the fridge, mum phoned to welcome us back……..all acts of love and kindness.
One of the by-products of Mike’s death is that we “cease the day”. We continue to find opportunities to celebrate. There is no point in focusing and whining in what we do not have. Yes there is a very big part of us that would love to live in Australia and enjoy the out-door life style, the awesome church life, fantastic wines…… But every day there is a choice to make on what we focus and where we spend our time and resources.
Much has happened in Australia to all four of us and we need time to process. We were exposed to some awesome events & people and there is much to learn.