Grief Isolates

What a privilege to be on Logos Hope in Antigua, St Kitts and soon Dominica.  I am here physically, but emotionally its a very mixed time. I find I am isolated. How strange when there are 400 people who are all incredibly friendly. Why does grief isolate? Grief has the ability to control my emotions. Why can I not control them? I find the capacity of the emotional bank drains very quickly. Solitude is not only safe but allows time to process and recharge. 400+ people living on a ship in community gives great opportunity for the petty to become primary. I cannot handle the petty, I want to shout “you may be dead tomorrow, get real and live to the full”.

Its a lot of fun to be known as Akila’s dad. She was once known as Mark’s daughter. Wonderful to see our kids establishing their own identity. I am aware a number of them would like to talk. I have been thinking how to share our story in an appropriate way. My first choice is not to stand in front of the community. They also have a busy programme on the ship. If I was at home, I would have a gathering around our fire pit, so I am thinking to find a beach close to the ship in Dominica and invite the ship people to my fireside chat after 9pm.

We never know when we may be under attack!

2 Responses to Grief Isolates

  1. Sally Knight says:

    A quote from ‘Just Me’ by Sheila Hancock, an autobiography I’ve just finished reading.

    ‘There is nothing wrong with tears, be they of pleasure or pain. It will always be like this. I’ll be alright, and then without warning I’ll be engulfed by waves of grief. That’s o.k. The world is full of wonders but also tradgedy. It has to be endured, even -strange word this – relished. Anguish is the limit of human experience and it stretches the emotional muscles, just as do uncontrollable laughter and rapture. A corseted contented life is not for me. I must not push away memories of John just because they might make me cry, because that way I will lose the joy as well as the pain.’

    Thinking of you.

    Sal x

  2. Mike Stachura says:

    Walking thru our own level of grief these days, Mark, with the passing of my 88 year old Dad. Died suddenly with heart failure after an infection developed from minor surgical procedure several days earlier. Like you, drawing people together around a fire, or a a deck as we did in Austin, TX, is where genuine, authentic communication about life matters takes place. Sadly, so much of the talk fails to center on what REALLY matters for eternity. It tends to concentrate on the “before” in our lives, and does provide wonderful memories. However, if we take the time to reflect on how those events, encounters with people we live with and love deeply, etc. all CAN impact how we live BOTH for NOW and in light of eternity, I think it can have a great impact on our choices from here on out. I see that in how you are writing, reflecting, and choosing to communicate so openly about the impact Mike’s life (and death) have had on you and continue to shape your own future. We are only beginning that process as we reflect on the life choices, values, etc. of my Dad’s life.

    With great admiration for the courageous journey you are on, my brother!

    Mike

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